Sexting 101

Sexting is a funny thing, some of us are great at it and some of us cringe just thinking about doing it, the best part is, you can sext your fella while you’re going about your daily tasks as if it we’re nothing, but for the guy reading it … well his mood will have suddenly changed completely.

Thats the difference between us girls and the guys. They will get right into this kind of thing and really, lets be honest the only reason we normally sext them is because we love their reaction.

Maybe it’s just me … but whenever I’ve sexted a guy I love knowing how crazy it’s driving them more than anything else. I love feeling in control of quickly changing their mood while I could be shopping for socks or hoovering my bedroom.

A lot of my friends get really funny about this kind of thing and to be fair I do understand why, for me a guy will only get the privilege of receiving sexts off of me once we’re officially together … and girls just and FYI when I say ‘sexts’ I do not mean naked pictures, if you want to send those as a bonus then thats down to you.

So if you find yourself wanting to send your guy something a bit naughty but are stuck for where to start, try one of my ideas from the list below and see how you get on!

1. I’m so wet for you right now, I must really be craving your dick.
2. I can’t stop thinking about having you deep inside me.
3. I cant wait to rip your clothes off when I see you.
4. I’m going to put your dick in my mouth as soon as I see you later.
5. I’ll wait for you in bed, naked and ready to fuck.
6. I want to feel you cum for me repeatedly tonight.
7. I wish I could be making you cum in my mouth right now.
8. I’m craving your tongue on my clit, its making me so wet thinking about you going down on me.
9. I want you to fuck me so hard my you make my legs shake.
10. Just so you know, I wont be wearing underwear later on our date.. so you have unlimited access to touch me whenever you want.

A Girls Quarter Life Crisis Thoughts

Why is everyone travelling apart from me? Maybe I shouldn’t have been career driven, maybe I should quit tomorrow and book a random flight? I could go to a jungle and live with the locals for a few months, gain some real life experience? No … That’s ridiculous how will I pay to get my nails done and have my hair colored, how could I live in a jungle with all the bugs? Maybe I’ll just stick to hotels, so that means I’ll need even more money if I don’t want to backpack … I better start looking for a better paid job right now! … Speaking of which, I could have sworn that I was guaranteed an entry level salary of n excess of £20,000??? What happened to that? I did not sign up for this whole no paid experience malarkey after getting myself into a study debt, I was promised the job of my dreams! Why is it still so hard??

I want to buy a dog, it will show how mature and in control of my life I am, but wait .. when I finally book a random flight to the middle of no where just like everyone else what will happen to the dog? I’m sure I can go back to rely on parents in a situation like this right? Speaking of which, I am two months into my monthly salary and it’s already all gone, I wonder if they will give me money for a couple of weeks? I just want my independence so bad!!

Why are all my friends living with their boyfriends, oh god … some of them even with their husbands! When did people start getting married and having babies this young?!! I couldn’t handle a child .. last week I killed a cactus! Right … I need to get on to Tinder this instant and find Mr. Right! Soon I’ll be 60 and a crazy cat lady! No one will speak to me and I’ll be forever alone …. I wonder what my single friends are doing this weekend, maybe we could go for a well needed night out in London and I can meet a mysterious tall dark handsome stranger at the bar .. but I am sooooo tired!! This week is almost up and my averagely paid job has drained all energy from me … ah .. my bank account is also saying no to a night out.

Why am I not using my university degree right now?? I paid so much for an education I am not even using, who told everyone this was a good idea!! I blame my parents and the government … because who else can I blame apart from authority? When I move into a place with Mr.Right how will I afford the rent … or furniture?? Oh god, we are going to have to make furniture from cardboard boxes and then somehow my lack of cooking skills is going to burn the house down… I can see it! Maybe I should invest in some culinary classes, I can meet new people and we can all drink red wine together because well … whats more adult than that! Maybe I’ll get an exotic fish tank instead of a dog, perhaps that gives off the same kind of adult vibes but makes you look like you earn loads of money at the same time?

Why oh why does it nearly take my whole monthly salary to get drunk these days? What happened to £1 shots? Those were the days … I wonder if I could find a new course to study and go back to uni for a while, put adulthood on pause again for a few years.

Maybe I need to go on a health kick, turn my life around … lose some of this uni weight! Stupid alcohol why did you make me gain those pounds?! .. That’s it, from tomorrow I am going on a juice cleanse, lots of people are doing those and the Instagram results look impressive … if only I had a booty as good as the girls I see on Instagram .. maybe I should chop all my hair off and dye it bleach blonde? New me, new start, new life! No … everyone knows I look like a potato with short hair … oh, going by the prices it appears I could get a trim if I wanted. That’s that then!

10 Things I Think About When I’m Thinking Of You

When I say I’m thinking about you or that I miss you, you probably wonder what it is that I could be thinking about, what thoughts could have caused me to miss you, crave you and want to be back in your arms again. So here are 10 of the things I think about when I say I am thinking about you:

1. Our first kiss, the way you held my face, picked me up and put me against the nearest surface you could find. How I could tell you had kissed a lot of people before me because you had it mastered, the way you moved your tongue into my mouth and how you knew when to stop and put me down. You had the right balance of intensity and softness at the same time. How you made sure this memory was engraved into my head I’ll never know.
2. The smell of your skin, how warm you are and the shape of your body. I imagine running my hands down your arms and over your chest. Kissing every inch of your body and then having the taste of you left on my lips.
3. The way your hair sits, how much I love to run my hands through it. I suddenly visualize your head in between my legs and how nice it feels when I stroke your hair as I enjoy you going down on me.
4. How you look at me when you tell me you love me, how much I love your eyes and what a beautiful color they are.
5. You singing in my car, clicking your fingers and bobbing your head. It makes me remember how happy you are with me.
6. Your touch, how your fingers feel on my skin. How it feels when you hold me against your body and how I love having my face buried into your neck.
7. The sounds you make, how much it makes me smile when you’re making sounds from the pure pleasure of laying skin to skin with me.
8. Or how a different kind of pleasure makes you close your eyes and reopen them again very slowly as you look up to the ceiling, the deep extended breathe you take in and then exhale.
9. How you will gently bite my finger when I run it across your bottom lip.
10. Your laugh, it makes me smile every time I hear it, its so infections.