So he wants some space?

Space … a funny word really because what is space, is it standing more than one foot apart from each other? Is it never being in the same room alone? Or maybe it’s avoiding conversation with someone completely.

So answer this, whats scary about getting too close? What’s the risk, you miss someone more than you want to? Or you fall for someone when you’re at a phase that’s making you try so hard to remain balanced, but you know what, life doesn’t care about our planned timings, not everything happens when it should do, but wouldn’t we get bored without a few hurdles?

Love is supposed to be messy, the best story beginnings never tend to start smoothly.

Most people ask for space to save their own feelings, they don’t want to get attached and ultimately the more time you spend with someone the more attached you begin to get.

Or maybe he want’s some space because he thinks you’re too much, now he knows he has you perhaps he’s realised he doesn’t want you like the thought he did and now wants some space to weigh up his other options? Ouch, quite a sour thought!

He probably doesn’t realise the space he’s so desperately trying to get is hurting you, he’s trying to protect himself but in the process he’s leaving you feeling confused and unwanted, two of the worst feelings in the world when it comes to matters concerning the heart!

Maybe you should grant him his space, let him pull away, sure there’s a risk that he won’t swing back to you, but if he doesn’t maybe you’re better off?

Or, an alternative idea, show him how much you like him, that this isn’t a phase, he doesn’t need to worry about you getting bored, you’re in it with him now and yes it’s scary but it’s worth the risk.

Maybe he has got other options he needs to weigh up, or other stuff he has to sort out (get rid of any baggage he can’t seem to leave behind) but who cares, you know that none of his other options are you, and he knows that as well.

Sometimes what we need is closest to us and we shouldn’t be trying to get space from the person we want the most just to protect ourselves.

It actually isn’t him, it’s you!

How many hours have you pondered his thoughts? Wondering what he’s doing? Why he isn’t texting you, if he’s texting someone else, when he’s actually going to reach out.

How much time do you waste wondering what he may never tell you and what he’s thinking?How many minutes, staring at your screen trying to dissect every last text. Understand why he follows who he follows. Why he posts what he posts.

So. Many. Why’s.

While you’re sitting up late at night, wondering the thoughts of his brain you’re wasting time. Time you could spend on so many other people, and things. On people who actually follow through with their actions. People who continuously show you how much they care about you. But it still isn’t enough, if it isn’t coming from him, right?

How many minutes you have wasted on his thoughts, when you could have been doing something for you. Finally finishing that book you keep re-starting. Draw a bath. Grab a drink with an old friend. No. Instead he has wrapped his hands around your brain, once again. Once again, you are paralyzed by the idea of his ideas. By his thoughts, and your lack of knowledge.

And then just like that, you look at your phone and he’s reached out. Just like nothing ever happened, like no time has passed. Simply ready to strike up another conversation, like all is well in the world. And all is well. All has been well. But then you begin to think about all that time you wasted, when you could have been enjoying the moments you were in but instead you’ve spent all day distracted and closed off from everything. All this time wasted worrying about what his mind was thinking. Giving him all this power over you. All this power, he isn’t even aware he’s had!

The wasted time isn’t his fault though, he didn’t ask you to dissect his every move, he didn’t ask you to read into his Instagram posts, he didn’t ask for any of it. He didn’t even know it was happening, he literally had no idea! No idea that a day of not speaking would do this and drive you crazy. While you questioned where his mind was, he was living his life, just like you should have been.

He had no idea you were concerned because he was too busy minding his own business and getting on with his day, all while you wasted your own time. And let’s face it, you’d be too embarrassed to tell him the truth, that this small thing kept you up all night long, not hearing from him had left you wondering the unknown. Venting to your friends, about how you think this is just another loss another waste of time and almost feelings, chalking it up to yet another guy with commitment issues. And you were beginning to question if he’s even good enough for you anyway, or that maybe something’s just wrong with him.

When in all reality, it isn’t him, at all. He still likes you just as much as the day before. He is still interested, he still finds you cute, he still wants to follow through with those Friday night plans.

And of course he does why wouldn’t he? I mean look at you. He just had a bit of a day and you know what those days are like, yet you went crazy over it. It’s time to get out of your own head, but most importantly it’s time to get out of his head.

So seriously, stop getting in your own way with this crazy over thinking and constant questions!