How To Tell He Isn’t The One For You

 

we have all had that moment, when we’re so wrapped up in a new romance that we fail to notice all the signs pointing to the fact that this won’t be forever, sometimes we need to take a step back and evaluate our relationship. You try and ignore all the flaws that your friends are pointing out because you’re trying so hard to pretend everything is perfect.

So what if he’s not Mr Right? How can you tell?

1. You Don’t Trust Him – Jealousy is healthy, but there are limits, you  should not constantly be wanting to check his social media for any potential competition, or inviting yourself on his boys nights out maybe there’s an issue, if you see him talking to other girls you should never jump to conclusions without talking about things first, look to see if anything warrants this distrust and if there is then this could be a big sign that things are not going to work out.

2. Always Trust Your Gut Instinct – If there’s something that isn’t sitting quite right with you, normally that little voice inside your head. Don’t jump into action to listen to this gut feeling straight away, but don’t ignore it either. Normally that back ground thought is there for a reason.

3. He Doesn’t Like Your Friends – As girls we are normally much more ourselves around our best friends than anyone else and if he doesn’t like you when your’e around your friends then I think this speaks for itself? He should like that you are involving him in plans you have with your friends because it means you want him involved in aspects outside of your alone time.

4. He Has A Forever Changing Attitude Towards You – If he seems a bit bipolar with you this is not good, if he loves you he should always love you, not swing from talking to you like you could be a total randomer to as if you’re the best thing to ever happen to him, the latter point should be how he talks to you constantly. If he jumps down your throat at uncalled for points then these kind of mood swings will never change and they will never be much fun for you to experience.

5. You Dread When He Drinks Around you – And by this I mean any amount of alcohol, because after one drink he turns into a total a**** hole that you would never normally give your time to on a night out, if he’s aggressive or rude that really isn’t something nice to be around and if he gets like this then i’m sure you’d be embarrassed to take him out with your friends as well.

6. He Won’t Listen To Issues You Bring Up – If you want to talk to him about things you aren’t happy with in your relationship you should never be worried to do so, you shouldn’t worry that talking about issues will push him away. He should be happy to talk to you about your relationship worries if it would help the both of you in the long run, if he does’t then the likelihood is he doesn’t have much respect for you or your relationship, every healthy relationship has its ups and downs, its how you get through them that will either make or break you as a couple.

7.  His Bad Habits Really Annoy You – Everyone has small habits that others won’t necessarily like, but if your’e starting to hate him because he bites his nails, maybe you should think if there are some other underlying issues that are making you back away.

8. He Doesn’t Want to Share Things With You – And i don’t mean food, I mean life experiences, he should want you at every big moment with him and you should want the same, but if he’s putting off introducing you to his family and not inviting you out to meet his friends, you should ask yourself why that is. He should want to show you off at every given opportunity not leave you at the sidelines for just when he wants some chill time.

Everyone is different in relationships, but if you can create a list in your head of why you shouldn’t be with someone then maybe that shouldn’t be ignored. Sometimes your friends can be the best people to go for advice because they can see things from an outsiders point of view, But the final evaluation of your relationship should always be down to you.

The Post Grad Rut

Being a post grad in a bit of a rut .. Not a fun feeling.
So many people expect you to run off and jump straight into the career of your dreams, but it just really isn’t that straight forward.
I don’t even really know what I want to do, I know what my degree is in, but it’s only now that I’ve left uni that I realise there’s a whole world out there full of so many career options.
Maybe I’ll even need to go and study again .. But maybe I won’t.
Maybe it will take me a year to figure out exactly what I want from life.
But what I do know is that it’s ok and totally normal for me to be thinking like this and for any newly graduated individuals to not have life totally sussed as soon as they get handed their qualification.
I know I have drive and I know I have ambition, so whatever I decide to do I know I will put everything I have into it.
But for right this second, making any kind of money is better than sitting around doing nothing at all.
If you’re flipping burgers, serving people who are more financially stable people than yourself their unreasonably priced drinks with exotic names that you’d never heard of before (especially considering you’ve been used to student drinks the last three or four years) just know that if you don’t want it to be forever then it won’t be.
You’re in control of your own density and don’t let anyone put you down because you aren’t doing exactly what they want you to be doing.

So here’s to us people who have absolutely no clue what so ever about where life is taking them, we’ll figure it out eventually.

Romance In December

December is easily my favourite month of the year because of how magical it feels, you can feel the buzz for Christmas, the nights are chilly and you can stay in warming up at home.

But this year I’m excited for other reasons besides Christmas.
I’m excited because I have him …. Now bare with me, this isn’t going to be a post that is horrifically cheesy I promise! (Not much anyway)
But I’m so looking forward to going through December with him, the fact that we are planning a holiday, the fact that we get Christmas, we also have his birthday and we get to go into a new year together.

And the whole idea of starting a fresh new year with him makes me so exited and I’m hoping we have many more Decembers to look forward to together, but 2015 will the first whole year we spend together.
I hope that the new year brings amazing things for both of us but I already know that as long as I get to experience everything with him it will all seem so much better.
I’m excited for him, for the new career he is starting in January and the fact that he wants me to be there with him along the way, I feel lucky that he wants me to experience those things with him.

I can’t wait for us to spend three weeks away together, just us.
Some alone time will be amazing! Away from all the crazy demands of being at home such as work and family, we will be able to focus all of our attention on each other and I’m thrilled about that!
But really all I want him to know is that I love him .. And I am seriously looking forward to moving forward in life together, I want him to know that I will always have his back and that any stress he may go through with this new job I will always be here for him.
Cringey blog post finished!

I’m Still Falling In Love With You

 

 

 

I’m still falling in love with you, and I haven’t yet hit the ground. I’m almost there, though.

I remember when I first started falling for you, it was the little things you would do and say. The small ways you would look at me and hold me. But I remember the first time I noticed something interesting with me and you, I’d subtly make eye contact with you, just for a moment, and your eyes wouldn’t flicker one bit. It was as if in that connected second defined something more than just physical attraction.

You got in my head. You had me. Your persistence didn’t go unnoticed trust me, but I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate your persistence with me.

Even though it was unpredictable and somewhat ill-fitting, looking back to that early phase of us still excites me. It was during this time that I discovered a side of you that I truly adored. I just wanted to know everything about you and I still do. From your biggest fears to your relationship with your parents, I want to know everything and anything in-between. Give me the all dirty details, tell me all the thing you’ve never told anyone else. I’ll love you more, I promise.

Even though you can be moody and impulsive when you have your bad days, it could never outweigh how good it feels to simply be in your arms. I’ll melt away as you pull my body into yours and kiss the back of my neck. Your silly, yet adorable laugh is perfect.

Falling in love with you is making my heart feel like my heart could explode at any second and I remember the first time you made me feel like that. You smiled at me as I turned my head to face you and you were studying my expression, trying to take me in. I was feeling so vulnerable and what you said meant everything … ‘god you’re so beautiful’ you said, not taking your eyes off me, you looked back and fourth from my eyes to my lips and gently kissed me and in that moment I knew I never wanted to hear anyone else tell me I was beautiful apart from you.

You’ll never know the shockwave that hit my body at that moment, like a wakeup call reminding me that you were the real deal. Like this could be something great.

Even as I take this fall towards loving you, I’m fearful. I’m fearful because once I’m done falling, you could destroy me. You could throw my heart on the ground and stomp on it and I don’t want to experience that kind of heartache, not with you. I’m taking a risk with you, because you’re not the safe choice. you could decide to walk at any moment.

But you know what? It feels exhilarating, because now that I’m falling in love with you, I wouldn’t want it any other way. This is how it should feel to fall for someone. It’s worth the risk, if those moments of bliss don’t make you want to put everything into that person, you’ll find yourself catching your footing before you hit the ground.

Be my biggest risk and my greatest win.

Is Love Magic?

How can looking at someone you love fill you with such happiness and dread all at the same time?
This is a question I continuously find myself thinking about, don’t get me wrong. I’m not cynical, not much anyway. I know love exists, I’ve seen it and I believe that I’ve felt it too, I know what it feels like to love someone.
But then I’ve never witnessed what I would consider love, so how can I completely believe in something that I have never seen?
Could it be that there are so many variations of what each of us consider love that we will never see the version we consider as correct?
But why does most love seem to have a sell by date, what type of love is the correct version that means it will stay forever, because whatever that version is I would quite like to find it.
Falling in love is one of the scariest things I know, it’s like metaphorically handing over not only your heart but also your mentality to someone and asking if they wouldn’t mind holding on to it for a while for you, maybe so they can put them in a safe place that only they can get to, out of reach from everyone else.
Love is a selfish expression, something you are only happy to give away while your heart will let you and once you don’t want to give anymore the likelihood is that you will stop, leaving that other person wondering what happened. Leaving them broken. I don’t want someone to be able to break me, not again. I think this make me more of a realist than a cynic.
I’ve seen the painful side of love, where marriages end and families split up. That’s when resentment sets in and I do not wish to resent anyone in this world, I believe life is far too short to hate or resent anyone.
That said, I am not someone who willingly gives her heart to people, trusting someone not to break me is not something that happens easily.
But this one, the one who can fill me with dread and happiness all at once. He’s being trusted, I’m trusting him not to hurt me and this is what love makes me dread, the point where I get hurt. Not all love has to come to it’s unavoidable end though I would hope. Because love truly is a beautiful thing, all those flaws that someone had before just vanish. You would rather stay in with them and do nothing than go out. Love is magic really.

I’m Not Capable Of Hating You

I can’t hate anyone especially you.
I wish I could, oh how I wish I could fill my body with such resentment for a person that it spirals into a fit of range and explodes into the most vile hatred anyone has ever seen.
I wish my body was capable of such negativity.
But it’s just not, I never hate people. I only ever hate what others turn me into, I see figments of myself change as people hurt me and let me down. I wish I could take my negativity out in others but instead I let it remould my personality and shape it slightly differently each time I get hurt.
I wish someone could melt me down, I would let them remould me and start again.
I’m sure if I tried hard enough I could remember a time when I was a perfectly moulded version of myself, before you ruined me.

You’ve made me hate myself over and over again, you’ve made me feel desperate and pathetic. I don’t feel good enough anymore, I don’t feel good enough for anyone.
The golden glow of confidence I had is getting smaller and smaller as I hate myself more and more because of you.

I crawl back every time and I don’t know why when you don’t even respect me as a person. Your vial and you swear at me but for some reason I just think it’s because you’re scared of how you feel. Deep down though I know it isn’t. It’s actually just because you don’t respect me. You probably never will, not enough to have my heart anyway. You don’t actually deserve another minute of my time, i’ll realise this. Eventually.